Wasabi and trust (?)

just now,one of the boys in my class gave biscuits to everyone.Kind,huh?You're in for a biiiiiiiiiigggg surprise. It's actually  wasabi flavoured crisps.I took a nibble,naturally,being equal part cautious  and curious in the same time.I don't know about some people,but those just DON'T go well with my tastebuds.But being me,as you know me,I took the crisps and tricked others into eating them.Demonic?Yeah.Evil? Definitely. Farah?Do I care?Most of the 'lucky' ones were suspicious when I handed them the crisps~I couldn't blame them.I was being nice,see?That's enough to rouse any sane MAHISS' 'puteri's suspicion.But there were some people who took them from my hand without the slightest hesitations.Do these people trust me?Perhaps.We better not get my hopes high,eh?Funny how a wasabi-flavoured crisp can burn your tongue then warm your heart.But really,this is just one of the small miracles of life that make life meaningful.I told you , Allah is always the best!He created us and guides us and loves us and gives us the opportunity to always be happy.Let us just remember that eternal happiness is back with Him though.By the way,thanks to those who trusted me enough wihout any qualms about it.Umm,special tribute for a particular Lady.

seeing that I must...

jika semut itu boleh berusaha,bagaimana saya tidak?

I never was like, really love academics.Quite the opposite actually.I always loved practical stuffs, meddling with things in my hands.I got tired of the long hours we spend on our butts in class.All along, I've only been scraping along.How did I managed to still not get kicked out of Maahad Hamidiah?Suddenly jumping to the top classes?Don't ask me~I never knew the answer,seriously.During UPSR,I struggled at the last minutes 'cause my mom threatened me with the cane.*shivers.PMR?Forget it.I don't even study.This year,I'll sit for the exam said to will be determining my life.S.P.M. *double shivers.Igot sick at how nobody will listen.All that matters is how many A+ will I score.Which university will I end up in.What hotshot job will I land.How much will I make....Hey,people,do those really matter?Here I am,typing away at this keyboard,basically yelling out my sentiments in a world that doesn't care,and my scary SPM only like,4 months away.Not really,  my trial is some two months away,see?And I don't think I'll even give a damn to that.Only that,the other day, someone (quite) close to me broke the news that her mom will make her transfer after PMR,for scholarship's sake,apparently.That made me sad. :'(  Very much so.That gave me a resolution : I'll study really,really  hard and score a straight A+ in my trial.And I'l apply for some major-domo-degrees that actually fit me as who I am.Why am I studying for someone?Doesn't even make sense.....huhhh.But my theory is that :Allah let this happen to make me want to success.He's giving me another opportunity.And I won't waste this.I am  clever.Hardworking when i set my mind to.I can do this.You'll see.I'll make you see....

dreams and destiny

people said : we must chase after our dreams.Hold fast to our dreams ~ for those are what defined who we are. They said losers are people who give up -- winners never quit and quitters,apparently,never win.But these people obviously never know one thing : Dear world,sometimes you never meant to give up.But you just can't afford to dream.Dreams cost a lot,and sometimes,they cost you everything that is dear to you.Is it worth it? So for some of us,we acan only afford to go with the flow of destiny.But relax fellow travelers! A wise large-headed blue alien had this maxim out:
Destiny is not the one handed to us,but one we make for ourselves.
Allah is not cruel,so fare well,and smile!!!

Trusting the Divine

one day,you're walking alone,all by yourself,see?And you're thinking of one thing:suicide.No one cares if you're gone,anyway.So why'd you have to bother yourself with everyone else?The blade is already hovering a few centimetres above your wrist,ready to cut into your lifeline.But somehow,you can't seem to bring yourself to do this.Why?Why?WHY?!Suddenly a memory came into your mind,of a gentle smile once upon a time,and you unconsciously dropped the knife.'Cause with the memory,you suddenly remembered of someone,somewhere that actually cry to know what stupid things you did to yourself.But all these things that's happening to you,and you just can't stand it anymore.You tried to run away,but in the end,you returned to where you started.Because you know,that That Person is worried sick for you.Because That Other Person will be sad to know what you had done.Because all Those Persons cried for you.When you get back,and all those attentions die,everything fell back into the usual groove,what are you going to do?Run again?Die?!You know that those won't change anything.If any,you just denied another chance for you.Hey.Wake up.You don't have to count on people ~ just how much time you were let down?Countless?Right,so you see.Just hold on though.If you're patient,trust in God and try HARD to change yourself,ONE DAY He'll send an angel to take you back to His side. He'll said to you : Well done,my child.You've hold on when you should.And you've always trust Me.That day,as your reward,He'll reveal His divine Self which you have always trust--the greatest gift imaginable--no,that's even beyond your infinite dreams.He'll let you play in His Gardens.So hold on,trust Allah ~He's always there,listening,whenever and wherever you wanted to cry out~ and He'll only love you MORE.....

The Little Rough Ugly Stone..

once upon a time,about 3.3 billion years ago,190 kilometres down inside the Earth,some carbon sources were submitted under unfathomable pressure and temperature ~ being so near to the magma running beneath the Earth crust and so deep within that the weight of the world crushed upon it.instead of letting the situation preceded over,the carbons slowly,slowly,slowly transformed into a rough,ugly stone.Remember now that this rough,ugly stone,or crystal,was formed under such unthinkable circumstances that it attained such hardness, beyond anything else in the whole wide world.At the moment,the world was not yet mapped.And many miracles beside this Rough,Ugly Stone was still uncovered.Some 3.3 billion years later,a creature classified as Homo sapien,which we called Human came along and dug below the soils of the Earth.Deep below,and what else did he found if it's not,yes,the Rough Ugly Stone.The Human took little Rough Ugly Stone to another  Human.The Other Human took the Rough Ugly Stone in his hand and polished the Rough Ugly Stone repeatedly,exerting more pressure and lotsof bzzzing on yet rougher surfaces,cutting facets into the Rough Ugly Stone,as if the circumstances that created the Rough Ugly Stone in the first place are not unendurable enough. Slowly,slowly the process went,excruciatingly until one day,the Rough Ugly Stone were placed into a covered glass case,displayed to a crowd of Humans that all admired the Rough Ugly Stone which is now no longer a rough ugly stone,but known as ... The Clear Diamond that sparkled through and through,that cut through anything,a result from all those billions of years of enduring pressures,temperatures and being buried in the dirts. Nearby,a not so well-to-do Human said some words of wisdom to his son.
:"Son,look at the BEAUTIFUL Diamond.Do you know that once upon some billion years,the Diamond are nothing more than the soot in our fireplace?Yet,buried deep under the Earth,it went through pressures and temperatures beyond your wildest imagination,and look what had come out of this patience.If only you can take the lesson from The Diamond,one day,you too will sparkle brighter than anything,and harder that not one critics can hurt you....."    Does this parable ring any bell to you?

one of my friends ~ ramai sebenarnye ~ almost all jugak r actually,are baffled at some of my idiosyncrasies. which means some unique habits that distinguished me for who I am.fancy word?sorry,that's just my OTHER idiosyncrasy.okay,forget that.what is this 'idiosyncrasies' again
#1 : I like to sing.Particularly old silly rhymes or children's or campfires,puisi atau apa shj that suit my mood.
#2 :Sometimes,bila lupa lirik,I just end it with..umm..'dan lain2 lagi?'or 'et cetera3' dan yg sewaktu dgnnya
#3 :Bila dgr siren ambulans,1st thing yg akan ckp? "sapelah yang beranak tgh jalan tu..." '=,=
actually I'm posting in correspondence to an article read in my friend's blog,about positivity.so,habit2 ni,I picked up from my family.my parents in particular.my mother ajar muzik skolah rendah,dan aktif Scout zaman muda2 dulu.so her reservoir of lagu sangaaaaaattt banyak.imagine,doing your chores in the morning to "Istana Ratu'~bet half of you tak tau pun lagu tu wujud.so my siblings and I alwaaays sing,or hum,or whateverlah.ada satu proverb : "Those who wish to sing always find a song." Which literally mean that those yang cari happiness akan jumpa apa yg mereka cari.About the second habit,I got that from my Mr Papa.Umm,my third one too. He's a teacher di SMK Abdul Jalil ~ and yes both my parents are teacher.*sigh* At first tak faham kenapa, then I understood.My father unconsciously taught us that while you CANNOT change the music -- that's the greatest violation ever--you have the power to continue the song in your own way.Contohnya maybe lagu tu kata ujian yg ditempuhi tu tak terkira,but instead of habiskan kat situ je,I can say that I finally succeed.The third habit,I ask my mom "nape beranak?nape tak accident ke ?" Madam Mama answered simply
: that's another of your father optimism.instead of saying,"ade orang mati ke?",he said what he said.He expected   good fortune and hope in the form of a good news ~ the birth of another human. saya tanya lagi "kalau baby yang lahir tu dah besar jd jahat?".My mother only smiled and say "tapi tak semestinya kan?"
Simple how my parents taught us to be cheerful,and I won't forget how my grandma scolded me bila dahi berkerut tengah panas.She said : the wrinkles  will come,why must haste? And she taught me to smile instead. So actually,the choice is in your hand,really.Whether you want to smile or what,choose.Remember
                 Two men looked out from behind the prison bars
                     One saw the ground and the other see the stars


                                       Which are you?

aku dah tak kira,i have to let this out,and so listen.:

#1:we should never met.it's against logic;utterly and absolutely~yet i never regretted it.not a moment since nor a moment soon.if any,why haven't we met earlier?

#2:i miss you --- is it that hard to take in?i lost you,my dearest friend.i recalled that once upon a time,you'd trust me enough to cry,where had that trust gone?what had happen to us that took you away?

#3:i've always lost my friends.when i met you,i said i'll hold on forever.i promised you that,but it wasn't me stepping away,but you gone far.that's the only thing i could promise,that when you return,here i am :)

#4:we started our friendship with tears and tempers ~ yeah i admit it wasn't a very good one,but hey,we worked that out?didn't we?

#5:you must hate me by now,huh?when i don't have the slightest reason for you to.okay,sorry for that spit the other day--but really,why?

#6:this isn't the first time though,that someone did this to me.friends one day and suddenly,we're strangers the next.and am i that disgusting that none will tell me why they left?only,it's puzzling as to why they even bothered to be close in the first place.but i thought that you're different ~ or are you?

#7:*sigh*just this,i'll always be here,okay?whether you decided to return,or not,i'll still be here.waiting for the day i can have my friend back.waiting for you,for those smiles that reached your eyes.for the beautiful lady inside to come back.

            so that's it,i just miss you.remember that once you scolded me for won't admitting i miss you?there now :i miss you ineffably enough.okay?

quartermaster?~penat lorhh....

PADANG HAMIDIAH MERAGUT NYAWA

padang boleh nak ragut nyawa ke?dah sah2 orang yang main atas padang,padang lak yang jadi mangsa pesal?mengapa sangat sentimental?a running joke among my friends:padang tu asrama kedua saya.sengal....tapi actually maybe that the field is my favourite place in maahad:especially bila takde orang lain.antisocial?so?do i care?the field is important to me~that's where i first met and knew those f2 juniors that turned to be my quartermaster crew this year.where i spent hours with nina and dekyat wat mural(and break some rules in the meantime) .that's where i go whenever i feel the world is pushing me down..watching the leaves blown from the trees...dancing to the song of the wind.and i know that i'm not alone.bila dah habis sekolah,akan ingat balik semua memories kat padang tu~sweet and sour.tributes to kru quartermaster 2012:THANKS A LOT....FOR EVERYTHING.......

saya seorang pelajar tingkatan 5

kadang2 terfikir:pesal saya memula create blog ni?bukan selalu update pun,buat bersarang labah2 je lebih.that's okay;maybe this year i should catat my journey towards SPM~12A+ insya-Allah amiiiiinnnn~ a quote from ursula k. leguinn: 'it is good to have an end to journey towards,but it is the journey that matter in the end'.huuuu~mengapekah.....life as a form 5?you being the most eminent senior in school (my school especially),menjadi those people you always see going here and there uruskan semua benda.those people yang we unconsciously compare ourselves to and made moulds for our actions---it's not really as HELL as i previously thought.kendatipun no waltz all the way either.you are actually forced to grow up and own your mistakes~there's no more f5 to put the blame on:hey,you are the f5!!those juniors will look to you;hold it f5-f5 sekalian~jangan kalah sebelum berjuang!give it our best for those adekssss we have di bawah naungan@penjagaan kita (sometimes rasa cam dapat temporary custody tuk beratus-ratus orang~waaaa!!!)tapi spm jangan abaikan ok!

hari2 indahku yang akan dikenang...

aq msok kelas razi thn ni.RAZI!!!what the joke-----aqnakgelakaqnakgelakaqnakgelak..xpe r,it's okay r act.razi is not that bad.mungkin saya dicampak dengan penuh bergayanye ke kelas razi tersebut supaya saya dapat majukan diri saya semaju ultraman zearth dengan liplap liplap glitter kejayaan tuk spm nanti~insya-Allah.dorm is...oklah.so far so good..smoga dengan prsekitarn yg sungguh kluster dan kondusif,saya akan dapat capai 12A+ itu nanti...amiiinnn.saffa duk mn!
lawak guling2 sungguh.aq ckp xyah r pindah kl blek.aq redha...tp it's the year tp struggle~watlek watpeace je sudah.dari 4 tahun da msok skola...13 years and i'm not going to let it go to waste. azam yg x pernah tercapai daripada drjh 2 dulu~nk siapkn sume homework!!!!acu try test r thn ni...gonna indulge myself in the school spirit as-much-as-i-can.last year...and i'm going to miss all of it....honestly,munkin aq TERsayang maahad sikit kot....hmmmmm....