seeing that I must...

jika semut itu boleh berusaha,bagaimana saya tidak?

I never was like, really love academics.Quite the opposite actually.I always loved practical stuffs, meddling with things in my hands.I got tired of the long hours we spend on our butts in class.All along, I've only been scraping along.How did I managed to still not get kicked out of Maahad Hamidiah?Suddenly jumping to the top classes?Don't ask me~I never knew the answer,seriously.During UPSR,I struggled at the last minutes 'cause my mom threatened me with the cane.*shivers.PMR?Forget it.I don't even study.This year,I'll sit for the exam said to will be determining my life.S.P.M. *double shivers.Igot sick at how nobody will listen.All that matters is how many A+ will I score.Which university will I end up in.What hotshot job will I land.How much will I make....Hey,people,do those really matter?Here I am,typing away at this keyboard,basically yelling out my sentiments in a world that doesn't care,and my scary SPM only like,4 months away.Not really,  my trial is some two months away,see?And I don't think I'll even give a damn to that.Only that,the other day, someone (quite) close to me broke the news that her mom will make her transfer after PMR,for scholarship's sake,apparently.That made me sad. :'(  Very much so.That gave me a resolution : I'll study really,really  hard and score a straight A+ in my trial.And I'l apply for some major-domo-degrees that actually fit me as who I am.Why am I studying for someone?Doesn't even make sense.....huhhh.But my theory is that :Allah let this happen to make me want to success.He's giving me another opportunity.And I won't waste this.I am  clever.Hardworking when i set my mind to.I can do this.You'll see.I'll make you see....

dreams and destiny

people said : we must chase after our dreams.Hold fast to our dreams ~ for those are what defined who we are. They said losers are people who give up -- winners never quit and quitters,apparently,never win.But these people obviously never know one thing : Dear world,sometimes you never meant to give up.But you just can't afford to dream.Dreams cost a lot,and sometimes,they cost you everything that is dear to you.Is it worth it? So for some of us,we acan only afford to go with the flow of destiny.But relax fellow travelers! A wise large-headed blue alien had this maxim out:
Destiny is not the one handed to us,but one we make for ourselves.
Allah is not cruel,so fare well,and smile!!!

Trusting the Divine

one day,you're walking alone,all by yourself,see?And you're thinking of one thing:suicide.No one cares if you're gone,anyway.So why'd you have to bother yourself with everyone else?The blade is already hovering a few centimetres above your wrist,ready to cut into your lifeline.But somehow,you can't seem to bring yourself to do this.Why?Why?WHY?!Suddenly a memory came into your mind,of a gentle smile once upon a time,and you unconsciously dropped the knife.'Cause with the memory,you suddenly remembered of someone,somewhere that actually cry to know what stupid things you did to yourself.But all these things that's happening to you,and you just can't stand it anymore.You tried to run away,but in the end,you returned to where you started.Because you know,that That Person is worried sick for you.Because That Other Person will be sad to know what you had done.Because all Those Persons cried for you.When you get back,and all those attentions die,everything fell back into the usual groove,what are you going to do?Run again?Die?!You know that those won't change anything.If any,you just denied another chance for you.Hey.Wake up.You don't have to count on people ~ just how much time you were let down?Countless?Right,so you see.Just hold on though.If you're patient,trust in God and try HARD to change yourself,ONE DAY He'll send an angel to take you back to His side. He'll said to you : Well done,my child.You've hold on when you should.And you've always trust Me.That day,as your reward,He'll reveal His divine Self which you have always trust--the greatest gift imaginable--no,that's even beyond your infinite dreams.He'll let you play in His Gardens.So hold on,trust Allah ~He's always there,listening,whenever and wherever you wanted to cry out~ and He'll only love you MORE.....

The Little Rough Ugly Stone..

once upon a time,about 3.3 billion years ago,190 kilometres down inside the Earth,some carbon sources were submitted under unfathomable pressure and temperature ~ being so near to the magma running beneath the Earth crust and so deep within that the weight of the world crushed upon it.instead of letting the situation preceded over,the carbons slowly,slowly,slowly transformed into a rough,ugly stone.Remember now that this rough,ugly stone,or crystal,was formed under such unthinkable circumstances that it attained such hardness, beyond anything else in the whole wide world.At the moment,the world was not yet mapped.And many miracles beside this Rough,Ugly Stone was still uncovered.Some 3.3 billion years later,a creature classified as Homo sapien,which we called Human came along and dug below the soils of the Earth.Deep below,and what else did he found if it's not,yes,the Rough Ugly Stone.The Human took little Rough Ugly Stone to another  Human.The Other Human took the Rough Ugly Stone in his hand and polished the Rough Ugly Stone repeatedly,exerting more pressure and lotsof bzzzing on yet rougher surfaces,cutting facets into the Rough Ugly Stone,as if the circumstances that created the Rough Ugly Stone in the first place are not unendurable enough. Slowly,slowly the process went,excruciatingly until one day,the Rough Ugly Stone were placed into a covered glass case,displayed to a crowd of Humans that all admired the Rough Ugly Stone which is now no longer a rough ugly stone,but known as ... The Clear Diamond that sparkled through and through,that cut through anything,a result from all those billions of years of enduring pressures,temperatures and being buried in the dirts. Nearby,a not so well-to-do Human said some words of wisdom to his son.
:"Son,look at the BEAUTIFUL Diamond.Do you know that once upon some billion years,the Diamond are nothing more than the soot in our fireplace?Yet,buried deep under the Earth,it went through pressures and temperatures beyond your wildest imagination,and look what had come out of this patience.If only you can take the lesson from The Diamond,one day,you too will sparkle brighter than anything,and harder that not one critics can hurt you....."    Does this parable ring any bell to you?